Guest Blogger!

Dear Millie,

It has been over a week since I saw you for the last time.  When my lady took me out to pee, I was so happy to see you!  I'm sorry that I got so excited...you know I have that tendency to jump all over you, tangle up our leashes and squish you a little bit. But you are so tiny!  I can't help it that I've been growing so much.  And also my people are pretty calm.  I mean there's the occasional apartment tennis game or when my people clap their hands and I run the combine through the living room, but other than that, it gets kinda boring and I get excited to see another of my own species.  You know what I mean right?
How do you like living in San Antonio?  Too bad you have the Spurs and we have the Mavericks.  Do you still use the little crate I gave you or do you have a lot of room to run around in the country now?  I don't think I have ever been to San Antonio but I know for a fact that I love to run around.  I hope you meet some other cool dogs at your new home. Maybe a big strapping Mastiff! Or, maybe not.
Did you see that new leash I was wearing? My man got it for me. Honestly Millie, tell me what you think!  When he brought it home, my lady laughed!  Did you think it was silly?  I am growing up after all.  Should I have a leash that has a string of faux hot dogs on it?  With all the "Weiner" jokes on the internet from that dumb politics man, I don't know if I should be making such a statement, you know?  My man thinks it's funny, I know it.  He told my lady it distracts me from chewing on my leash, which, as you know, is virtually impossible. I guess it's not too bad though.  The Fake Franks give me something to nibble on while my man gets his shoes on. That can take awhile!  He won't let me chew those for sure.  He talks about 'vibrams' and 'barefeet' all the time, whatever that means.  But with the landmines other people's dogs leave behind at our apartment, he needs some kind of shoes, right?  Not that you or I ever left any messes around! LOL!
My lady came home the other day with shopping bags.  She NEVER goes shopping!  My man brings me things most of the time.  So I didn't get my hopes up but suddenly there was a familiar squeak!  She bought me a soft squeaker toy!  It was (yes, was...I have already very effectively destroyed it!) a small brown animal that looked like a cross between a dog and a porcupine.  VERY tasty and such a gratifying noise! White fluffy stuffing everywhere!! LOVED it!  Not only that though, she finally bought me REAL bowls for my food and water.  I mean, what? I've been here for like 8 months!  Don't you think it was about time for that?  Using the green people bowls they use for their weird food was a little humiliating.  Be thankful you never had to see that.  But the new bowls are gorgeous!  Light blue and brown, ceramic, big enough for my jowly snout! When my lady put them down on the floor I went right over to check them out. What a surprise I got when I saw that there was a biscuit at the bottom of the water bowl!  Ooooh, it looked so good, but Millie, I tell you, I almost drowned trying to get to that bone!  My man and lady laughed and laughed until I realized the joke was on me...the bone is part of the bowl!  Embarrassing!  I did get some satisfaction from the fact that I made an enormous puddle on the kitchen floor that my lady had to mop up.  With MY yellow towel.  Oh, well I guess it's the thought that counts.
Well, I'd better get going. I have a lot going on today...I see that I have some fuzz still left on one of my tennis balls, gotta get to that.  Then I have an important date with the cool tile floor in the kitchen. It's been over over 100 degrees for days here; I can only imagine how hot it is in San Antonio!  And after I spend awhile looking out the window at the parking lot, I think I'm going to get a Kong filled with almond butter and cookies.  No, Millie, of course not the people kind, she only makes those for people!  I have my own.
I miss you already!  Try hard not to make a mess in the living room like that last time I saw you!  Oh, boy was your lady mad!

Chow!  Haha!

Love, Bella Merriam

PS  Here is a recent picture of me destroying a squeaky chicken. With the dumb faces they put on these toys, who wouldn't want to chew them off?! BTW,  those green bones my people get me are really keeping my teeth white aren't they?

PPS.  One thing you can be grateful for...since you moved you don't have to deal with that Basset Hound in the next building...she is not very friendly! And with how looooong it takes her to go around a corner, you think she'd be a little more humble!

A Father's Day Toast

Forty years ago this September, something tragic and immensely impactful happened, to me and my entire family.  The ripple is still spreading, even all these years later.

Forty years ago, I was 6 years old.  My parents had moved quickly when growing their family...by age 6 I already had 5 younger siblings. My parents had known each other their entire lives, but had been married just 7 years.  My Mom stayed at home with us, which is what most moms did then.  My Dad was a gifted mechanic who worked both as an employee and on his own.

After dinner on September 22nd, 1971, my Dad kissed my Mom and headed out the door to help fix a friend's VW Beetle.

He never came home.

Details remain murky to this day...no specific cause was ever determined...but the long and short of it is this; my Dad was at the wheel as he and a friend headed home after repairing the car.  The Beetle failed to negotiate a curve and struck a huge tree.  My Dad was killed instantly. A brief lifetime, 27 years, snuffed out just like that.

A ripple had begun.

I was of course young, we all were. I remember a few details of that night as they impacted me, but most of what my Mom felt I couldn't fully comprehend until I was much older.  However, I can tell you this with clarity;

My Mom did not cave in.

She somehow found a way to keep going, to continue parenting, and to find herself.  This necessary new version of Ann, now a widow at 27, with six small children, figured out how to soldier on.

Some time much later, my Mom's good friend Jeanne convinced her one night to go out for a drink or two. And it was here that the ripple continued.  For it was that night, in a nightclub called The Dial Tone, that my Mom met the man we now call Dad.

He was oh, so young!  Celebrating his 21st birthday! He and my Mom caught each other's eye somehow.  Those details belong to my Mom and Dad alone.  I just know that a ripple brought them together that night. And that night changed my life...all of our lives.

I remember meeting Eric (as I called him for several years).  I came home from school one day and he was there.  I had never seen a man with a ponytail!  It hung halfway down his back.  His beard was reddish and bushy. I remember showing him some of my toys.  I remember liking him.

I don't know much about their courtship.  I just know that I remember very little of my life that didn't have him in it.  I know that he made my Mom so happy...she just lit up when he was around. I know that, thinking back, it's incredible that a 21-year-old guy would take on the responsibility of six small children when he decided he couldn't live without my Mom.  I know that I love him very, very much.

Losing a parent at such a young age is a defining event.  The key is, what is the definition?  What path to take? What ripples to follow?  I could have had a completely miserable childhood; welfare, bad influences, neglect. I could have become a victim.  I didn't. What started with a horrendous circumstance has rippled forward with a positive outcome.  I lost my biological Dad, but, sad as that was, I am in many ways a better person today for having my 'step' Dad in my life.

The ripple that began with my DNA is what makes me me. The ensuing ripples that began with meeting my Dad as a little girl contribute greatly too.  I'm so grateful for the traits I share with my biological Dad...I'm handy with tools, I love to go fast in any vehicle, I have his brown eyes, big smile and sense of humor.  I am doubly fortunate to have had a Dad to grow up with...one who is so mellow and peaceful, gives the best hugs ever, introduced me to the joys of antique cars and flea markets, and helped give me and all my siblings a profoundly blessed life.

I raise my glass today! To the Dad I lost long ago and to the Dad I've had the privilege of knowing and loving for all these years.  Happy Father's Day to two exceptional fathers, from one very lucky and grateful daughter.

Cheers!

With so much love and gratitude,

Pamela Jean

Decisions

Last summer, an enormous ripple was set into play when LeBron James made "The Decision" public.  He made a big spectacle of his choice to move to another basketball team.  The ripple was immediate and huge. The decision to switch teams, in itself, was a no-brainer in my opinion.  He wants to win an NBA championship.  The chances he'd do it with his previous team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, were slim. In order to achieve his personal sports goals, he had to make a decision. He decided to 'take his talents' to the Miami Heat.  Here's where the ripples diverge.

On the one hand, you have a man who needs to decide what to do career-wise.  Just like any other bread-winner, a lot of factors go into such a choice.  What would be best for his family?  What would be best for him personally? What would he leave behind? The choice he makes here would ripple throughout his family's lives for the duration of them. In this case, at least on paper, he chose well.

On the other hand, you have a superb athlete with aspirations of super-stardom. He sees that sports give him a relatively short window in which to achieve championship level play. LeBron wants to see his name listed among the greats of this game.  He wants championship rings on several fingers.  His skills fully support that thinking; his team's capabilities did not. This decision also rings true, on paper.

LeBron the man, for all I know, is loving life in Miami.  Hopefully his family is too.  I have no idea of the financial particulars of his new contract but I'm sure his family is being very well provided for. "The Decision", at least in this direction, has started a series of ripples that make sense for them all.

LeBron the basketball superstar, however, is still, one year later, recovering from the ripples he put into play with  "The Decision".  With his choice to broadcast his career move on live television, he turned many a sports fan away.  His shameless self-promotion started a flood of ripples outward that quickly reversed and swamped him.  His now former team felt betrayed. The way the Cavaliers played in the wake of LeBron's 'defection' certainly reflects that ripple.  His home city and state also felt let down...everything from burning his jersey in the street to achieving new heights of creativity with anti-LeBron signs when the Heat visited Cleveland reflects that ripple. A man previously admired not only for his basketball skills but for his personality and on-screen presence was shocked to find himself hated. That last ripple had to be a hard one to swallow.

"The Decision" = Diverse and Widespread Ripples; not all of them positive.

We all make decisions, from the miniscule to the all-encompassing, every second we're awake.  From what to have for breakfast all the way on up to deciding if our country needs to go to war, we are deciding. Choosing. Opting. And rippling.  "If I have a donut for breakfast, the ripples will be..."  "If I don't save enough money to retire, the ripples will be..." "If I engage our country in war, the ripples will be..."

The key here, of course, is in the awareness.  To some degree, the ripple can be controlled, if you make a decision with awareness and thought.  "A donut will make me sleepy and starving by 9:15...not to mention chubby...not a good option...not a good ripple."  And so on.

To take it further though, and certainly more importantly, how will the decisions we make impact others?

There are some ripples that simply can't be predicted.  When you make a decision, sometimes there are miserable ripples set into motion, one that you didn't want or anticipate. Ripples that can cause pain.  I'm sure LeBron was completely blindsided by the backlash from "The Decision". I am pretty sure that he didn't intend to infuriate and ostracize his fans.  As the ripples have faded some, he's recovered some ground. It's been over a year now.  Just look how far the impact of that ripple has traveled.

All of us have made decisions, choices, that have rippled poorly, whether on us or on those we love. Whether the choices have been naive, negligent or just plain stupid, it happens and it sucks.  It's a part of life to learn and grow by falling down and getting back up again; by making mistakes and hopefully learning not to repeat them.  The pain we feel or that we unintentionally subject others to is hard to accept.

But we can go forward, by starting our own new ripple.  If we've made poor decisions, ones that have caused pain, we can vow to avoid those mistakes going forward.  If we've been impacted by the ripple of someone else's poor decisions, we can also find a way to send out our own ripple.  We can start a fresh line of thinking, one that's focused and positive.  We can control how we act and react so we don't perpetuate an inadvertently negative ripple.  We can start our own flow of positivity, create our own ripple of thoughtful awareness, so that we know in our hearts that we aren't intentionally swamping anyone with the effects of careless actions or negative thoughts.  

We can decide.

The Reverb

It's a cool thing when the ripple you have begun bounces back to bathe you in its rings. If you move through the world with the clear, simple, unselfish desire to try and do the right thing, you aren't even looking for the ripple's effect on you.   If your heart is open and you truly want to help people have their best day, their best life, you send out ripples without even trying...they just flow.  Just like when 'they' say, "When you stop looking for something, that's when it will show up"; if you give all you have inside to each person you interact with, the goodness rebounds and washes right back over little ol' you.

A key lesson I learned as a student in massage school is this; "It's not about the therapist."  In other words, you are to greet each client with an open mind, meet them where they are, and provide them with the best experience possible, no matter what the purpose of their appointment is. You can always make suggestions based on what you've learned, but ultimately, it's about them, not you. There is no room for a therapist with a giant ego in a massage session, no matter how educated they may be. The humble therapist wipes the slate clean each and every session, even those sessions with clients they've seen month after month. The humble therapist, no matter his specialty, sends an immediate ripple of acceptance, love and safety toward his client.

It's no secret that I absolutely love my work as a licensed massage therapist. LOVE it!  Most of the time I don't even have to say that out loud...it pretty much squeezes out from my pores like sunshine through a screen door. No matter how my day has begun or is progressing, whether I feel sad or sick or grouchy or frustrated, the minute I greet my client with a handshake, the ripple is cast. My silly personal dramas vanish and the focus shifts to the client. I feel awesome the minute my hands contact them. The ripples continue to spread.

As the session progresses, any number of scenarios unfold.  However, the common denominator is that the client's stress melts away. That's why they come. Clients may be silent. They may speak only to guide you toward their discomfort or provide feedback on what's evolving for them relief-wise. They may spend a few minutes catching up with you if they are a regular visitor to your table. They may even spend the entire session talking.  Sharing their stories, histories, concerns, experiences, discomforts. No matter the amount of conversation, the vibe is relaxing. More stress melts away.

This is where the ripples begin their reverb. If I have truly listened to my client, heard them well and interpreted clearly what they've asked for, and we have then spent the entire session talking, I have truly been blessed with return ripples of love and gratitude.  Reminders over and over again of the many reasons I am so happy and fulfilled in my work. Getting to know a person while helping them to feel better, relax, recharge, restart, and go forward well...such a great thing!

As the session comes to a close, I thank my client for coming to my table. Often I will say something like this before I leave the room, "I enjoyed talking with you.  It's not ever supposed to be about the therapist, but it's been my absolute pleasure to share some healing time with you today. I hope you continue to feel well, and that I'll see you again soon."

Once out of the room, I savor the ripples that have come back to me.  I can happily bask in them, knowing I sent them out with the best possible intentions. I have received a gift from this client, a gift I treasure.

It's my pleasure, but more importantly my privilege, to give the gift of massage.  To send a more mellow and peaceful person into the world means I shared a little of my sunshine, and got a ton of it right back.

Throw Your Own Stone!

A friend said to me the other day that she'd been thinking about the ripple and she wanted to ask me, "Do you think the ripple just keeps on going?"  I said "I do. I believe that initial action sets several other actions in motion.  From those several others, multiple actions occur. They go on forever."  She said that she thinks her ripples have just stopped! After we cracked up about that, I told her, "Then throw something into the pond and start a new ripple all your own!  See what happens!"

So much of the ripple effect, as I interpret it, is in the 'letting go'. However, this doesn't mean that you have no control over what happens to you.  If you are in a place that doesn't fulfill you, makes no sense, is painful or sad, or you're in some kind of danger, by all means, toss something into the water and get your own ripples started, now!

Not only can this result in a lot of positive things coming your way, it also can stop negativity cold.  If you start your own ripple, and reap positive rewards, you see and feel immediate changes. That in itself begets more ripples.  For you and everyone around you.

It's easy to get comfortable in your dissatisfaction.  Excuses are always readily available.  Without a doubt, there are often things that are simply beyond your control.  But when you find the things you can control and you shift your thoughts, feelings and focus toward those things, you are the beginner of the ripple. You feel empowered, which encourages you to create more ripples. You head out to the world with a new clarity.  When you interact with others, wearing this renewed sense of purpose, the ripples glide over those people, combine with theirs and, as that old commercial says, "It just keeps going and going and going....."  It has to begin somewhere.  Why not with you?

Grab a stone! Chuck it into the pond! See what ripples you can set into motion, not just for yourself, but for all those you meet.

Thanks Hillary!  xo

Meeting Rick

The year was 1997.  Some big changes were in store for me and my family.  Just how far-reaching those changes would be, I had no idea.

My daughter was entering kindergarten.  I had been very fortunate to be a stay-at-home Mom while my kids were small, but now it was time for me to figure out what to do with myself.  Not only to finally make a financial contribution, but to see what I was interested in doing.  Not much income to being a homemaker.

I decided that I would look into a job at Pier 1 Imports.  After all, who doesn't like Pier 1?  On a whim, I called the store closest to me.  A lady named Deb answered the phone.  The ripple had begun.

She said, "This is so weird!  I just had someone give their notice for the hours you can work.  Can you come in and fill out an application?"  We set up a time to meet.

A few days later, I went to the store.  I felt no nervousness at all, even though it had been years since I had applied for a job.  I met Deb and we hit it off right away. She is funny, edgy, strong and creative.  I immediately felt at ease, comfortable in the atmosphere there.  I knew I had found a fit.  I filled out the application as we chatted, and she said she'd be in touch.

Long story short, I got the job.  Deb told me when I called a few days later, "I think you're cool and I'm going to hire you."  We became fast friends.

Fast-forward several years.  Deb and I remained friends, even as she changed jobs and changed back again; even as I became separated and moved into an apartment of my own.  As I was learning how to make my way alone in the world, Deb had taken a job at Wild Oats Market.

She called me one day to ask if I'd be interested in a position at Wild Oats.  Right up my alley, more pay and once again working with my friend.  It wasn't immediately attractive to me...long commute, lots of transition for me personally.  But that Deb, she's persuasive!  I applied and got the job as 'Mercantile Goddess'.

The move to this new position came draped in turmoil.  I was overwhelmed with all the change in my life, and extremely concerned about my brand-new nephew, Evan, born very prematurely.  I went into a tailspin.  Almost 3 weeks of blank nothingness followed.  My Mom was worried and thought maybe I'd bitten off more than I could chew with the new job.  I gave it some thought but ultimately soldiered through and stayed at Wild Oats.  To catch the next wave of ripples, I can see now.  Since, having beat my struggles and hung in there, I met Rick.

Deb introduced us, naturally.  Being that I am pretty good at customer service, I had helped Rick at the store.  He often had breakfast or lunch there and we'd occasionally greet one another.  Eventually, I began doing my paperwork with him as he ate his breakfast.  We became friends, and of course, so much more.  In October, 2004, we began dating.

Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary.  Rick and I were married late in the afternoon on the beach in Connecticut.  My kids and my parents were there.  We are as much in love today as we were then, even more so.  And we owe so much of it to the ripples that Deb put into play.

Had she not seen something in me and hired me, had we not shared so much fun and creativity together, had we lost touch when she left Pier 1 for another job, had we drifted when I was learning how to live alone, had I backed out of the Mercantile Goddess position when I fell into that depression, had Deb not encouraged me to start eating and smiling again, had I been a Yankee fan and uninterested in 'the Red Sox guy', had any of these things changed...well, who knows?

Inspiration

Sometimes when you least expect it, and maybe when you aren't even looking for it, inspiration comes from the most wondrous places.  So much in the world inspires me in small but vivid ways.  A ripple of sharing is what has inspired me today.
My daughter Natalie is a talented and gifted photographer.  No parental bias...well, maybe a little.  Seriously, she has a perspective and an eye that just amaze me.  The simplest items or actions, caught in a split-second, gain life and meaning when she views them through her lens. The beauty that we know exists in each and every human being glows and vibrates through her lens.  The world gains little shooting stars when her photos are displayed.  Just remarkable.
My husband Rick, a man of many talents and gifts himself, has added blogger to his long list of accomplishments.  His work is a thought-provoking melting pot of art and knowledge, science and beauty.  As he has gathered art for his blog, he has reached out to Natalie, who has been contributing her brilliant photographs to Rick's blog posts. It has been a wonderful partnership; warms my heart for sure.
By reaching out to Natalie, including her art in his blog and opening new eyes to Natalie's work as well as his own, he has reminded Natalie of her passion for creating her art.  Today as I visited Facebook, I saw that Natalie has a new blog called eyes open.  I, not one to enjoy being called a follower, became the first to follow...if I actually did it right!
As I completed this process, I was directly reminded that I myself began a blog quite awhile ago, called The Ripple.  Until now, I had not posted.  At all.
THAT'S the ripple.  THAT'S how things go.  They start with one little motion, and they grow. One action begets another.  As those two motions break off, they intersect with others.  Until the people I love reached out to one another in collaboration, setting off ripples in many directions, I was not inspired to post. But the ripples Rick and Natalie set into motion reached me and my eyes were opened!  I LOVE this stuff!
The next time you are inspired, take a few minutes and see if you can trace back the ripples.  You never know where your inspiration may come from.  You never know how your actions may inspire someone else.  And if that someone is someone you love, well, it doesn't get better than that.