The Reminder

From time to time, when we go through droughts of creativity, periods of sadness, or times of dissatisfaction, we often throw a bit of a pity party. We tend to look for someone or something to blame. We search with increasing frustration for the answer, the happiness, the next successful project. We lose equilibrium and sleep, gain stress and wrinkles.
We're going about it all wrong.
When these little bumps in your path arise, hit the pause button.  Take these little blips as reminders. I find that when a project isn't coming out like I have imagined it, I have a choice. I can force it, or I can take the reminder. When I look at a full day of clients on my schedule, and suddenly have cancellations or no-shows, I can get upset, or I can take the reminder. When I am out in the world, wondering why people can't think like I do, I can give out angry finger gestures or I can take the reminder.
What is the reminder?
The reminder tells you to be patient. To set your struggles aside for just a little bit and look around you. What can you see? You might see other projects you've successfully completed. You might see evidence of past peaceful, happy times.  You might, for just a small time, look at the world in new ways. You might realize that you have been going non-stop for far too long, and that your time for stopping to smell the roses is long overdue. You just might recognize the need to take some good old-fashioned care of yourself.
Don't freak out when the painting isn't just right! Don't stress when the words just won't form brilliant paragraphs! Don't go off the deep end when your day isn't as booked as your checkbook needs it to be!
Take the reminder...and rest.
Take a walk. Take a nap. Watch a movie. Catch some rays. Read a book slightly below your normal reading level. Play with some kids or puppies. Chat with a friend. Kiss someone you love. When you take some time to be open to the little things, which, as we all know, are the big things, your being slows down and opens up. Your  senses take in things in completely different ways. Your guard is down, your enthusiasm is up. And guess what happens then? The answers sneak up behind you and lovingly make themselves known. Your projects turn out more gloriously than previously imagined. The next full work day you have will be one of your best and most rewarding. Your ideas will astound you and all those they reach. You will amaze.
Love yourself. Be as compassionate with yourself as you are with everyone you meet. Take the reminder when it comes, and witness the ripple.

Spring CleaRing

Spring is here! Some of us may be feeling it more than others, but the notion that the season has changed is sometimes enough to change your whole outlook.  If you haven't yet felt the weather effects, tap into the things you can do to nurture that Spring feeling within.
* Respectfully bid farewell to Old Man Winter. Thank him for the extra water he's left behind, for hosting the winter holidays, and providing us with beautiful snowy scenes. Do this as you joyfully bury your sweaters, jackets, mittens, scarves and boots deeeep in your closet. A slightly devious smile is welcomed during this process.
* Start your Spring Cleaning. I have somewhat of a problem with 'forced cleaning' but I will tell you that Spring Cleaning feels phenomenal. When it's done, that is. Put your hair up, choose a long, jazzy playlist, open the windows and go to it. Mentally make plans on how you'll take a shower, light some candles, pour some wine and check out your new clean place from your favorite comfy chair that evening.
* Check out March Madness. Even if basketball isn't your thing, the hype and excitement of this one-and-done college tournament never fails to produce some great human interest stories. No special snacks or attire required, although a sports bar does heighten the experience somewhat.
* Get out in the Sun. A healthy dose of Vitamin D, delivered the old-fashioned way, never fails to provide a pick-me-up. If it's still chilly, bring a blanket. Breathe deeply and clear out those winter cobwebs.
* Start something new. Spring brings to me a feeling that something fresh is just around the corner. I always seem to want to do something different. I have asked a friend to help me refresh my high school Spanish, and I have several new Zombie dolls dancing across the new greening landscape of Spring.
* Meditate. If you get a little freaked out by the notion, rest easy. Meditation doesn't have to be so serious! Just taking a few moments to reflect on what you are grateful for, while drawing in deep, cleansing breaths, will tweak your soul, guaranteed. Why not do it in the sunshine?!
* Share some Love and Kindness.  Not many things feel better than sharing your gifts with others. Call a friend, gift someone a little Spring bouquet, do a small unexpected favor for someone you love. Give random hugs. Smile at any person who looks your way. Spread the ripple of joy, people!
Spring has Sprung!

Awareness

                                                             Hugging Trees- Avon, CT

Who knows when it is in the growing-up process that we become aware of exactly what it is we're aiming at. We've been children and then teens, being cared for, instructed, guided and told what to do. When does that shift occur? The time when we suddenly draw our line in the sand...the line that says 'from here on out, I am aware of my choices and I want to do or be (fill in the blank)'.
Certainly there is no defining time when awareness shows up. It's not calendar-based; sixteen=driver's license, eighteen=vote, twenty-one=legally bar-hop. There isn't a specific age when parents or mentors or teachers can tell an individual, "Get ready...it's almost Awareness Time".
That's the enigma, right there. If you aren't aware, then you can't see that it's time to hone your awareness skills!
So I propose this...awareness instruction should begin early, early, early! Parents...teachers...leaders of any sort...help begin the cultivation of awareness in young people. Ask the questions! Nurture the curiosity! Feed the creativity! Fatten the observation skills! Help children see. Really see!
Of course, then it becomes obvious that we have a 'chicken or the egg' kind of thing happening, right? I mean, if you haven't grown up with awareness, how on Earth are you going to cultivate it in others? The answer is...Start Small. One tiny awareness exercise at a time. Here are two to try;
---Next time you are going to eat something, turn off the tv, put down the magazine, find some solitude. Sit at your table with your food. Take the first bite and...make it last. Think about what this food is doing for your body. What does it feel like in your mouth? Temperature, texture, aroma, flavor, spice, noise; really describe your mouthful to yourself.
---On your next ride to work, look around. You take the same route each and every day, but I bet many of you get to work on autopilot, not even remembering a thing about the journey. Try opening your eyes. The sky in early morning or evening, a hawk over a field, a van packed with construction workers, a woman in the SUV parade applying her make-up while on the phone and slurping Starbucks, the patterns made by the cars streaming by you, new billboards, kids with giant backpacks walking to school; illustrate and color your ride...open your eyes to the itty-bitty occurrences that make up everyday miracles.
As I get older, I become more grateful each day for the awareness I have, and for the drive to grow it. I'm observant, sure, but awareness is more. It's not only seeing, but feeling, intuit-ing, wondering. I wonder at stuff, about stuff. About what people think, feel, what makes them tick. This wondering has rippled through my life in many ways...in love and friendship, in work and creativity, and with everyone I meet. When you approach life with such a desire to truly see everything, to move in an aware way, the things that follow will stun you with their brilliance. What appears will absolutely blow your mind.
Perhaps the ultimate understatement lies in the trite phrase 'Life is Short'. It so is! Time flies by faster and faster. Don't you want to see some stuff along the way? I know I do.

The Student was Ready

When my husband Rick talks about the beginning of his career, he often presents a wonderful quote. It's a Buddhist proverb that says, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
When I started massage school in Connecticut several years ago, I knew I was in the right place. I had visited the very same school many years prior to that and fell in love with it, but the circumstances of that part of my life didn't allow for me to enroll. I know now that I wasn't ready at that earlier point. And when I was finally able to begin my courses in massage therapy, I just knew that it was the perfect new path for me to take.
Since I was working full time and going to school part time, 3 evenings a week, my time at school was broken up into 5 'semesters'. With each passing week my passion for my future career grew. I loved my classmates, my classes and the work. In the third semester, we had a class called Energetic Foundations. I was very excited for this class, and more than a little curious. When I told my 'science and math' son about it, he scoffed, saying, "There's no scientific basis for that." I had no idea if there was but I couldn't wait to start it.
The time came for the first class. At our school, we sat on pillows on the floor in a circle. As we entered the room, there was a serene centerpiece in the middle of the circle. We settled in and met our instructor, Richard Harris. There were the opening greetings, remarks, sharing, and rules and regs. Then we got into the subject.
You know how in movies when a person achieves a goal or makes a profound discovery and the soundtrack may play a Hallelujah chorus? That's exactly what happened. As soon as Richard began showing us about energetic work, I knew that 'the teacher had appeared'. From that very first class, I knew the major focus of my massage work would be with energy work of some kind. It comes out of me naturally and now here was this guy telling me how to direct it for the good of my clients! It was then and remains to this day my favorite class.
Fast forward awhile. I have been working as a massage therapist for 2 years now and my love for and interest in energy work has only grown. And this past weekend, I had the privilege of teaching my very first energy workshop! I wondered if I'd be able to teach this class in a way that would help them understand. Could I get across to them and help them learn what is built into me already? Turns out I could. And I did. It was a gratifying and energizing day.
Looking back at past experiences, it's easy to see how this ripple grew. I used to love playing teacher and I loved school.  (Well, grammar school anyway.) I raised my children, which is teaching every day. Having a spirited and involved group of classmates to go through school with was vital. Being married to a brilliant teacher lays terrific groundwork for the type of exchange necessary between students and instructors.  Even the experience I gained while teaching 2-year-olds for a year came in handy! And landing in a classroom with an instructor who knew his stuff, was passionate about his subject, and gifted in getting his message across to students, was an especially valuable gift.

Thanks to the special teachers throughout my public school years, the many unofficial mentors I've learned from, my bright and curious kids, my beloved CCMT classmates, my remarkable husband, a pack of toddlers, and Richard Harris. Being blessed with all these experiences and guides assures me that this energetic ripple of students and teachers will never end.

News of Life and Death

Life and death...perhaps the original ripple. A life begins, miraculous in itself. The ripples begin, circling out and out and out. Eventually, the ripples begin to return, in and in, smaller, tighter closer. The miracle of life, in this incarnation anyway, ceases.

Life. Especially new life!  Oh so amazing! All those cells dividing to head to a stunning sum; a breathing, wriggling, snuggly irresistible creature arrives. New life has such a pull for me...as time goes on and as my own children have passed into adulthood, babies are just such a confirmation of hope and faith. Plus they just smell so yummy!
Death though, now that's another animal entirely. In our culture, we fear death and all it entails...loss, sadness, uncertainty, pain of all kinds. No less miraculous, just much tougher to grasp.
Yesterday, I had the privilege to receive news of both new life and death. Yes, you heard me, privilege. In this world of news-at-your-fingertips, we forget that news is shared. Someone thinks 'this is valuable information...I'll share it with you.' Well I certainly got my share yesterday.
Yesterday morning before I started work, I took a few minutes to check out Facebook. I came across News Gift Number One. Friends of ours recently welcomed their new daughter into the world, and they'd put a slide show of her home birth into an album which appeared on Facebook yesterday morning. Let me tell you, there are few words to describe it. Mom labored and gave birth at home, as naturally as could be. And though Mom had shared her experience with me already, while I held their 2-week-old sweet pea in my arms, the black and white photos of their family in these tender hours really told the story. 'Beautiful', like 'awesome' and 'amazing', have become such trite and overused words, but it was truly a thing of simple and emotional beauty. I was privileged to be able to witness it and celebrate the joy of a new life.
Later on that day, I received News Gift Number Two. This time though, I received news of the end of life. A young life. Ouch. Much more difficult to see this as a privilege.
Early this summer, in the midst of a very hectic day of massage, I looked over the client information form of my next client. The things I immediately noticed...Her unusual name. Her age. 14. And a glaring statement at the bottom of the page. Bone Marrow Transplant. As someone once said, "Hold up, wait a minute!" Took myself a few seconds and approached the only 14-year-old in the lobby. Reached my hand out and took hers. Introductions were exchanged and so began one of the most impactful hours of my life.
We headed back to my massage room. I explained what this type of massage is all about, since it was to be her first professional massage. Then I asked about the bone marrow stuff. She was matter-of-fact and clear. Diagnosed with cancer at 4. Bone marrow transplant coming up in a few weeks. Yow.
We had our session. Her body relaxed very well for a person unused to that kind of touch. Through my hands, I sent every positive message of gratitude that I had within me. She loved her massage, and as with any client, I loved helping her to feel better in some way.  At the end of our session, I gave her a gift certificate that I'd received...I told her to feel free to come back before her procedure and that I'd be happy to help her relax before the big event. She and her Mom were very grateful. I was blown away by the entire thing.
The date of her transplant approached and she and her Mom appeared on our schedule. Shortly before the transplant, their names vanished. The front desk staff told me that they'd had to cancel, Dr's orders. I felt a little shiver of something...fear, premonition, who knows. All I know is that girl had stuck with me. I thought of her very often and wished for her. The summer passed by.
2 days ago, as I checked my schedule, I saw her Mom's name. A little hope and more than a little dread surged through me. I mentioned to Rick that she was coming in and that I hoped to hear some news. I brought along one of my crazy zombie dolls as a gift...they are right up this girl's alley! The appointment time drew near.
Right on time, Mom came through the door. And I knew. I've only met her once and I just knew what she'd tell me. We headed back to my room.
I asked her "What's happening with you?" She said, "Well, you remember my daughter that you worked on?" I said, "Of course! She made a very big impact on me." And she said "Well, she passed, on the 11th." And you all know what I did. Gave her a big hug and started to cry. No time for professional boundaries in this case. She shared with me some details of the end of her daughter's life. What a painful, gorgeous, poignant gift  to receive. We went on to agree that if the session was too tough for either of us, we'd let the other know. Instead, it was a beautiful give and take, between client and therapist, between Moms of children of any age, between women, between human beings. Astounding to me, every day, every session, the power of touch and human connection.
At the end of our session, she told me that it was perfect...just what she needed. And somehow, just like meeting her daughter that day this summer, it was just what I needed too.
I asked her if she'd like the doll that I made, and she took it with gratitude. She said what I had thought might be true, "Oh, she would have loved this!" We hugged and we parted ways. I have a feeling we'll meet again.
The gifts of this day were enormous for me. Reminders to live, really live life. Feel it all, suck it up and share it with anyone you meet. Be thankful for the intersections of your life with others. Some of these moments are just too stunning to let them fly by unnoticed.

Welcome, Ainsley.
Farewell, Sixx.
Thank you both so very much for the ripples you've begun.

Creativity

Earlier this summer, a new creative ripple began for me. It has turned out to be wide-spread and far-reaching. Although some of you have seen the fruits of my new creative bursts,  I'd like to share with you exactly how this particular ripple began.
Friends of ours were expecting a baby, due in early September. For many years now, I have made baby quilts for the new little ones of friends and relatives. I love the entire process, from choosing the fabric to determining the pattern, to cutting up the fabric only to sew it back together again. In mid-summer, I went to the fabric store to wander around and get some inspiration. After a few hours of perusing, I decided on fabric and had a very loose idea of a pattern. I headed to the checkout line. In this particular store, waiting in line can take for-ev-er. They have strategically placed tons of small add-on items in the line, along with their magazine rack. As the line crawled by the rack, a crafter magazine caught my eye. It was called Stuffed and it had 3 crazy looking pink dolls on the cover. I picked it up and the rest, as they say, is history. Or ripple, if you prefer.
I did not buy the magazine that night. I'm not a huge consumer of stuff. Rick is the magazine person of our household. But I just could not get this magazine out of my head! The few dolls and creatures I saw had lit my imagination on fire! The next day, I went to another store that carried it and I bought it. And I bet I have looked at it a hundred times or more by now.
I did make the baby quilt, along with a very sweet dolly to match. That week, I not only completed those two projects, but three other 'zombie' type dolls. They are like nothing I have ever made!
Creativity is such a random thing! I have been creating since I was young; everything from drawing and writing to sewing and painting. Sometimes the ideas are so fast- and free-flowing that my hands can't seem to keep up with my imagination. And sometimes the well is dry, or so it appears, and the creative side of me settles on the back burner for awhile. Through periods in my life of great stress, sadness or challenge, the creative side of me almost dies, and though it sometimes seems like it will never return, it always does, just when I least expect it! And no matter how long it's been dormant, I welcome that side of me back with open arms, because it just feels so darn good to make something from start to finish.
The dolls I've made are piling up now on a shelf in our room. I have gifted some and bartered some. One was made from two fabric scraps I found on my walk one morning! I never know what will inspire the next creature...I just pull out the scrap bag, choose a fabric and get started. There are no such things as mistakes...when something doesn't go as I had planned, I roll with it and see what happens. The idea I finish with is almost never the idea I begin with, and that is the best thing about the whole process! The more dolls I make, the more that pop into my imagination!
If you are thinking of doing something creative, but don't know what you'll do or how to start, take my advice; just start! If you like the idea of painting, get some brushes and paint and see what comes out. If it's not at all what you like, try again. If it's a little what you like, keep going. If it's a lot what you like, share it, gift it or frame it! Remember, it's not what other artists in the world have done that you are basing your creativity on, it's what's in your heart and your hands. Creativity just plain feels good! So what are you waiting for?
The dolls I make now have their own Facebook page called Fiddleheads and Chaos. And I'm in the process of stocking the shelves of my new Etsy shop by the same name. I will offer my dolls as one-of-a-kind creations, but I'm also open to custom orders. I look forward to the ripples this new venture will bring my way. And I also look forward to seeing what you create! Let the creativity ripple begin!

Give and Take

When I was little, we had a swing set in our back yard.  On one end of it was a thing we called the Push-me-Pull-me.  I have no idea what its real name was but that's what we called the glider type ride that needed two kids, working in rhythm, to make it go. You would push out your feet on the peg and the other kid would pull on their handle, then switch on the back swing. You had to push to get the pull, each of you, so you'd both enjoy the ride. The name could have been Give-me-Take-me.  That ride was one of the first concrete demonstrations of give and take that I can remember.

When we humans are born, we take.  Take take take! We are helpless and completely dependent on our parents for every need we have. At this point, the parents do alllllll the giving and we do allllll the taking. As we grow, our parents begin to teach us how to be Givers.  Especially if you are raised with siblings, sharing is one of the first giving lessons you're taught. We learn to share our toys or our snacks. The balance between taking and giving slowly begins to shift.

Because we are human, and human nature is what it is, the shift doesn't smoothly change from taking to giving in one gentle curve.  It looks more like an EKG read-out. As we go through school, we quickly learn who to share with by seeing how generous they are in return. Somewhere in grammar school, a Taker named Janice Hollar met a Giver named Pam, who gave over her allowance money and never saw it again. Ouch! Hard lesson! And certainly the teen years are defined by taking. It's the time when we are trying on all kinds of hats to see what we're actually made of. Because of that self-absorbed process, we are rarely thinking much about giving.

As we begin to have long term relationships outside of family, we become very giving. What feels better than giving a gift to a new love? Perhaps receiving one! And before you know it, one of these relationships becomes permanent. When we become parents, we see exactly how completely giving our parents were when we were babies. It's just plain true that you never fully understand this until you actually have a child of your own. We continue the ripple by teaching our children how to give.

While I think that there do exist Givers and Takers of all ages in this world, there is an ebb and flow involved. For instance, when you're sick, your partner or maybe your coworkers must give some more. And you must take. Or when life has shifted in a large and unexpected way and you just can't do it on your own...you need help! If you've given in the past, there are Givers around you who are more than willing to give to you. Of course, the converse is true. You sometimes must give much more than your share when someone else must take for awhile. 

As we grown older and the cycle winds around on itself again, we must naturally become Takers again. If we are lucky enough to have a giving partner to share our life with, we can play the give and take game for as long as we both are able. Give as much as you can, while you can! Your efforts will bring many rewards down the road.

I consider myself, at this stage of my life, a Giver. There have been times when I needed to be a Taker. It was very hard but necessary and I did it. I am doing my best to be a Giver now, since there are so many people who need to take, even just a little. With every massage session, I give as much of myself as I can, always remembering somewhere in my mind the enormous generosity I received when I needed to be a Taker. It's my pleasure to give. And when the ripple comes back and I might need to take again, I just need to remember that the Giver really wants to help me, if I have to be a Taker for just a little while.