Minimal Footwear, Maximum Ripple

Here they are, those odd five-toed shoes that seem to be everywhere these days. This particular pair belongs to my rebel husband Rick, that Vibram-wearing biomechanical bank of knowledge. I wear them only when I do massage, but Rick wears them all the time. However, he didn't begin to wear them because 'everybody is doing it'.  To be fair, Rick doesn't do anything for that reason! So, let's trace the Vibram Five Fingers ripple.
Well before we left CT in 2009, Rick had seen an article for these shoes.  He looked them up on-line and liked what he saw, style-wise but especially foot-function-wise. There were very few places carrying Vibrams at that time, and there was only one style. In a continuing education class at CCMT, Rick had a student named Bob, who eventually became a colleague and friend. On a trip to Boston, Bob found and purchased a pair of Vibrams. When Bob showed them to Rick, Rick was even more sure that these shoes were perfect for him, and for proper foot function in almost anyone.
In our very early days in Texas, when EVERYTHING was up in the air, Rick was Googling and looked up Texas locations for Vibrams. Luke's Locker, a specialty running store, came up.
As we became settled and Rick was hired to teach at Parker University School of Massage Therapy, he needed something else to do while on semester breaks.  He had been thinking about Luke's Locker, not only for getting a pair of Five Fingers, but maybe as a place to work.  He applied on-line for a part-time retail shoe position. In a few days, Rick received a call from Patton Gleason, the store manager. Patton left a message, wanting to schedule an interview.
I remember Rick telling me about his first impression of Patton. He described Patton as genuine and down-to-earth. Their talk covered many subjects, one of them a book called Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. Patton suggested Rick read it. Rick and I both have read it, and it truly is a life-changing book, whether you run or not.
After a few more meetings, Rick began working at Luke's. His gifts with people were in evidence each day that he worked there. He helped his customers with everything from shoe fitting and gait analysis to actual massage work to improve their running success. He became known as the Vibram specialist, and would look to recommend a minimal-support shoe to his customers, knowing what he does about how the human foot is made. His special relationship with Patton grew. As Rick had said to me after his first meeting with Patton, they met for a reason. Patton would, in all seriousness and with complete respect, greet Rick with Namaste', his palms together over his heart and bowing low. I think it's no stretch to say that Rick and Patton have each been an important piece of the other's growth and success.
Late last year, Patton left Luke's Locker. Before he left, he told Rick that he felt like they'd known each other in another life, and that they were kindred spirits. Rick felt the same way and was moved by Patton's words. I predicted that they were not yet done working with one another. Quite recently, Rick left Luke's as well.
Rick is now teaching and working with clients. His blog at engagingmuscles.com is full of art and knowledge, spreading the truth about human function. As his editor and biggest fan, I admit a spousal bias, but I learn something every time I read his posts. As for Patton, he has opened an on-line running shoe store that has literally taken off running! You can check out his minimal shoes, educational information, and plain old entertainment at naturalrunningstore.com. Pretty good music too.
So from a goofy-looking shoe, we ripple forward through years and miles and experiences to a friendship based on thinking outside the box, exploring the entrepreneur within, customer service, honesty, integrity and passion. That's a remarkably rewarding ripple.
Grab your Five Fingers (or go barefoot!) and go feel the Earth beneath your feet.  While you do, reflect on those you love, and the ripples that brought them into your life. Your ten little piggies, and your grateful heart, will love you for it.

An Adventure of Their Own, Part II

...continued...

The situation at our friend's house grew more and more difficult.  Their daughter Stacy and her boys virtually ran for their lives.  Restraining orders were put into place, divorce proceedings began, counseling sessions all around.  Very slowly, healing began.  Whenever Rick and I would contact Jane and Steve to update them on our news, we'd hold our breath as we heard the latest developments with their family. We were scared for them.  And there was nothing we could do but be supportive from afar.  The one thing we heard over and over from Jane was that Rick and I had helped her and Steve as much as they'd helped us.  We'd been the recipients of a ripple, starting with their generosity, that we bounced right back to them, when they most needed it and least expected it.
Seems like our presence in their home for a few weeks that winter had put them on the right track.  They told us that the friendship we shared with them encouraged them.  Jane said that we somehow gave them some calm and some peace when we were their guests. I don't know that we did that on purpose, but the relationship that Rick and I share often rubs off on people that way.  I do know that we had many long conversations over dinner and wine (or Steve's beer). We all shared parts of our histories, our hopes, plans and dreams. To use that trite phrase, we bonded.  And somehow, that invincible feeling of hope that Rick and I were feeling rubbed off onto Jane and Steve.  So when the going got tough, and then progressively tougher, they stayed strong, for themselves and for their family.
As things continued to see-saw up and down with Stacy and her boys, a healing rhythm was building in Jane and Steve's home.  Stacy reclaimed herself.  The boys struggled with confusion regarding their father but had deep love and support from their Mom and their grandparents. Rick and I got updates that became gradually more positive and encouraging, along with photos of the boys, now growing into young men. As one by one the hurdles in the way of the family's happiness were knocked down, a plan for a vacation was formulated.  There would be a trip to Arizona, to visit Jane and Steve's son and daughter-in-law.  There would also be a visit to the Grand Canyon.
By all accounts, the trip was a great success.  The boys loved it, the family was all together for the first time in a very long while. Coincidentally, on the return flight to Connecticut, there would be a layover at the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport.  Rick and I drove to meet them for a little while between their flights.
It was so great to see them all together!  They were tired but happy.  We could see and feel the happiness and peace on all their faces.  And the thing that made it so incredible...they had decided that by the same time the following year, the whole bunch of them would move to Arizona, for good.  It was time for their adventure; time for our friends to realize their dreams like Rick and I had.  It was their time to head west.
Over this last year, more roadblocks popped up in the way of their dreams, but each and every time, they met the challenges head-on and kept focused on the future. Finally, in mid-June, when the boys had finished the school year, they were off! Their POD was picked up, their cars too, and the 5 of them flew out of Connecticut, toward their new home, their new life. Just like Rick and I had, they had chosen a 'do-over'. The ripple that began when Jane and Steve welcomed us into their home, into their lives, had echoed back over them.  The sense of infinite possibility that Rick and I felt, still feel, now bathed our good friends. Their adventure has begun.

19? Already?

Nineteen years ago this morning, I had my second child.  When her Dad and I woke early that morning to get to my planned c-section, we had no idea what the sex of our child would be.  However, we met in the kitchen at 4:30 a.m. both wearing pink shirts.  Should've known right then!
Natalie arrived doing what she does to this day; she amazed and amused us from minute one.  We were expecting this giant baby, since her brother was so big and since I was so big.  But no; itty-bitty, petite red-headed Natalie Kate arrived.  Her tiny bottom fit in her Dad's palm and there she sat for a bit while I underwent the necessary repairs. I had been a little worried that I wouldn't be as capable with a daughter as with a son; something which has to a good degree proven to be true; but I was immediately and thoroughly proud and pleased to have a daughter.
I fully admit that I was Cocky Mom. I thought, "I've got this, I've got a ton of experience." Not so much.  The Ripple of Natalie, perhaps the Ripple of All Ripples, had begun.
It's well-known that having children changes your life.  You have this amazing responsibility that you willingly take on when you decide to become a parent.  You think of all the things you will and should do for the good of this new life, from car seats and diapers to preschool and Brownies to make-up and dating to driving and voting. You're creating and molding a future citizen of The United States, for Pete's sake! And somewhere, lost in the busy-ness of raising your child, it's easy to forget that THEY will change YOU.
As pre-parents, we all say, "I would never do that!" or "I will never make my child do what my Mom made me do!" And we usually have some measure of success.  But ultimately, we are on our own.  Baby 'experts' can tell us what may happen in 8 out of 10 kids, but truly, we are making our own rules and doing what we can to get by.
As new parents, we start off slow, just trying to keep our heads above water til the feeding/diapering/sleeping stuff is all ironed out.  Then we encourage our children to grow up quick, and just like us. Here's where we all learn a big ol' lesson in "Not So Fast, Cocky Parent".
Natalie Kate, the Ripple, changed me in big ways.  What I thought was important was so not.  I considered it important that her clothes matched.  She considered choosing her wardrobe and getting dressed on her own much more important. She pushed me to the point of yelling so many times that I ripped something in my vocal cords!  You know how I'm not a 'yeller'? You can thank the Ripple of Natalie Kate. Natalie gave me new eyes in which to see the world.  Perhaps better said is that she opened my eyes to see things in new ways. Not everything needed to go my way, the 'parent's' way.  I learned how to try things that other people liked or suggested. I learned that I wasn't supposed to be nurturing a mini-Pam, but a fully individual Natalie Kate.
Natalie's gift to me, the ripple she began by showing up on planet Earth, was to see that it's ok to relinquish control sometimes. In parenting like my amazing Mom did, I thought I had all the answers.  But those were my Mom's answers, the ones that grew 7 children into fine adults. I had to find my own answers, and I'm still learning them from Natalie Kate. In some ways you could say that she began the Ripple.  I like myself pretty well, and she has been testing me and teaching me and improving me for 19 years now.  I love her dearly and hope to never stop learning.
I wish for my daughter the same things that I wrote in her baby book 19 years ago...peace, love, health, happiness, acceptance, success. I have nothing but pride, gratitude and love for my amazing, amusing, beautiful and brilliant Ginger Girl.
Happy Birthday, Ripple Starter! I can't wait to see what other ripples you send into the world. I love you!
Love, Mom

An Adventure of Their Own, Part I

In my upcoming, as-yet-untitled memoir of our journey west, I share many stories of people who helped us along the way.  Rick and I have been blessed to know some friends who fully believed in us, who backed us up, and who wanted to have a part in our success.  Many people we knew scratched their heads when they heard of our planned move to Texas, but this other group of people were truly in our corner and were even willing to personally sacrifice in order to give us a solid send-off. Without the positive ripples put into motion by these cheerleaders, our journey would've been virtually impossible.  In this post, I'll be introducing you to Jane and Steve.
Jane was a student in Rick's Kinesiology class.  As quite often happens when Rick gets Kines students in front of him, a whole new thought-process was born in Jane.  She wanted to learn more, to know more.  When Jane had graduated from massage school, she and Rick began to meet for coffee and discuss massage, kinesiology and personal training. When Rick taught weekend workshops, Jane attended as many as she could, eventually becoming Rick's assistant. Their mutual respect and friendship grew.
Jane's husband Steve is a bright even-tempered man.  Peaceful and somewhat reserved, he would quietly listen to a conversation and then drop a brilliant bombshell observation into it.  He was enjoying his retirement; exploring the internet, new music and brewing homemade beer. The kind of guy you just want to hug.
Not many people knew of our plans to move to Texas, but Jane was one of them.  She had made it clear on many occasions that we would be welcome to stay with her and Steve during our transition process.  We had 2 long house/dog-sitting gigs booked, but would need small stretches of hospitality during those few months.  Jane and Steve were one of those hospitable couples.
When the time came for us to move in at their house, we were welcomed with open arms.  I'd spoken with Jane briefly on several occasions, but had only met Steve once. They immediately made Rick and me feel right at home.  They showed us to the guest room where we unloaded all our stuff.  Jane had even cleared fridge and cabinet space for our food. It was like a big kid sleep over!  What a warm and cozy place to have landed.  We were very comfortable and grateful. As it turns out, Jane and Steve would come to be grateful to us as well.
The four of us settled into a routine...deciding who would provide/prepare dinner, sharing household chores, giving each other massage, and enjoying each other's company.  The transition period Rick and I were in was emotional for sure, but as we shared each development with Jane and Steve, their excitement grew along with ours. They began to share with us their dreams for the future as well.  Steve was positive that he wanted to spend his retirement in Arizona.  I guess we weren't the only ones with Western visions.
Jane and Steve hosted us through 2 stays at their home. But as things were coming down to the wire with us, there were some changes in store for them as well.  Their grown daughter was in a bad marriage.  She and her twin sons would be moving in with Jane and Steve. Their very safety was at stake.  For two people in or around their 60's, this was tough, but they'd of course have it no other way.  As we headed off to our future in Texas, Jane and Steve's future plans suddenly looked much different.

Stay Tuned for An Adventure of Their Own, Part II, coming soon!

Paying it Forward

I wasn't intending to post again so soon, but a beautiful thing happened when I went to the grocery store today that surely represents how the ripple goes.
I have been in the house for several days with a pretty serious toothache. Kinda heavily medicated, thus no driving. It's been manageable though, since my brain seems to be in creative overload mode!  Let's just say I've accomplished a lot; results of which y'all will get to see in the coming months.
At any rate, Rick needed a few things and asked if I'd like to go along for the ride. Bella and I said "Yes please!" and we headed off.  We needed to stop at Kroger of all places. Not the happiest destination on a pain-free day! Rick stayed in the car with Bella and I went in to return something.
While I was waiting at the customer service desk to make my exchange, I overheard the manager talking with a customer.  She was telling him that she would try and run through his purchase manually since the computer wasn't doing it properly. She went around the back of the courtesy desk.
The man was younger than me, very tall, with beautiful sleeves of tattoo work on each arm. He looked exhausted.  He was pushing one of those shopping carts that look like a race car.  Inside were two obviously unhappy little boys.  Grumpy, sad or sick I do not know but certainly not any more thrilled to be in Kroger than I was. As he waited and the manager worked on his purchase, it became clear that it was his food stamp card that would not go through.  Apparently the system the card is tied to was down.  The man had only two small bags of groceries.  The manager said, "I am so sorry but it won't go through. Do you want me to hold them and you can come back?"  He said he'd come back and headed out the door. I felt so badly for him.
Just then, a woman in line behind me spoke up.  She said to the manager, "Here, let me take care of that for him." Oh, my heart!
The man overheard and said that he appreciated it but no thank you and that he'd come back later on. He went out the door.  The woman insisted to the manager that she wanted to do it.  "We've all been there, haven't we?" she said.  The manager ran out the door with the bags and came back shortly.  The manager said to the woman, "That was very nice of you." I turned to the woman and said the same. When the manager went around behind the desk, the woman asked her how much it was. The manager answered, "$4.05."  
Four dollars and five cents was all it took for that woman to spread a vibrant lacy network of ripples all around her. She helped that man's day get a lot easier. Helped those sad little boys get home sooner. Made every person who overheard the chain of events feel a lot better about the world. Showed me the reason I ended up at Kroger today.
She paid it forward.
We have all been there, right? I know that I have been on the receiving end of such generosity. I remember a similar experience when I was little and at the store with my Mom and all my brothers and sisters.  I have never been a wealthy chick, but if I have a few dollars and someone needs them, I think back to the times I've received help like that, little or big, and I give what I can.  Paying it forward is one of the easiest ways to send forth ripples of care and love into the world of another.

Freedom

Independence Day has just passed us by. America is 235 years old, which is a little bit scary since I remember vividly the matching patriotic bikinis my 4 sisters and I wore in 1976, when the country was just 200!  I don't know about you, but as I grow up, I think of it more in it's intended terms, rather than hot dogs, fireworks and mattress sales.
The word freedom is important on a daily, small-scale basis. I am free to decide today whether I want to sew or write or vacuum.  I can take a walk or take a ride or take a nap. No one is telling me that I can't. I remember when my son Tim got his driver's license.  I asked him what it felt like.  His one word reply? "Freedom".
Since Rick and I moved to Texas, the concept of freedom, as an American citizen, has resonated with me in much more powerful ways. I imagine it's that 'pack up your wagon and head west, young lady' idea.  I know that I've felt the power of my ability to choose, not only where I'd like to live, but what I'd like to do and what I'd like to talk about. It is extremely easy to take these rights for granted, isn't it? For some reason though, I have been more mindful and grateful for these privileges since we came to Texas.
Maybe because I have a friend from India.  She has been here for 10 years on a work visa working as an architect.  She retains and has taught me much of her birth culture.  She is a gifted and brilliant woman of many talents...she's an artist, a writer, a photographer, a Reiki healer, a lover of yoga, massage and all things spiritual and holistic.  She is worldly and well-spoken.  She speaks often of what will happen in the coming months, when her work visa, which restricts her to earning money only from her profession (architecture) and not her art, expires. She will need to leave a country that she has grown in, grown to love.  She will need to leave behind her sister, now an American citizen, not to mention many friends, peers and colleagues.  She has experienced many of the freedoms America stands for, but has also learned of the limitations placed upon her because she is from another country.  I know that I will miss her! I also know that when I think of my freedom, I somehow keep coming back to her. Continued blessings, my friend, wherever the wind takes you.
Freedom also makes me think of bravery. Sometimes you're born into a situation, or you blindly follow the leaders before you, and for some people, that's enough.  In America, when it's not enough, and if you're brave enough, you have the freedom to choose.  You can stand up and say, "This is not right for me and it's time to choose something better, something healthier, something smarter."  When you look at the ripples that afforded you this thought process, you can trace them back to the men and women who founded and fought for this country. There were those who just thought, "Of course the King of England is in charge of us and we'll never waver in our loyalty!" But then, a growing number of people decided they were not willing to be sheep, not at all willing to be 'herded' or reigned over.  They had the bravery to fight for their, and consequently our, freedom. Simply looking at the way wars were fought then, lines of men with muskets and bayonets walking directly toward one another, toward almost certain suicide, shows the guts it took to form America. 
I consider myself lucky to have been born an American.  Our country may not be perfect; let's face it, what really is? But I know that the actions of our forefathers, the ripples they began, resulted in the freedoms, both small and large, we so value and cherish today.

The Elephant and the Protester

Once upon a time, there was an elephant named Joe.  He belonged to the traveling circus. He loved the life of a performer.  He danced and tossed a big ball back and forth.  He even stood up on a large drum, on only one foot! He loved to show off for the people of all ages that came to see the circus.
Joe had grown up in a hot, faraway land.  He didn't remember much of his life there except for his mother, who was the kindest and gentlest elephant.  She took great care of him and loved him, until the day when the big men with guns came and knocked her down.  She never got up again.
Some other, nicer men came and took him on a boat to America, where they brought him to join the circus. His trainer gave him food, changed his hay and taught him all kinds of new tricks as he grew up to be a big strong elephant. He had a gorgeous wardrobe.  Everyone patted him on his giant head and gave him treats. He was proud of his job.  He loved his circus life very much.
One day, when the circus came to a new city, Joe saw from the window of his trailer that there were people standing on the sidewalk, people who were carrying signs and yelling very loudly.  They didn't look happy like most people visiting the circus, they looked angry! Later when he asked his trainer what the people were mad about, his trainer said the people were called 'protesters' and they were angry because they thought the animals should be free, not part of the circus. Joe was shocked.
He could not believe what he had heard!  He loved the circus!  He had everything he needed there! Not only did he have food, water and shelter, he was quite fulfilled in his work as a circus elephant! Why would people say that he and the other animals should be taken out of the circus?  What would they do?  Where would they live?  Joe went to sleep that evening scared and worried.
The next day, Joe was in the lot outside the circus tent.  He had practiced that morning, and now was enjoying his hay.  Suddenly he heard yelling. He saw the protesters again!  They were right near his training ring.  He walked over to them and asked them why they were so angry.
The group of people was shocked that an elephant had spoken to them! One person finally recovered enough to tell Joe what they were angry about. She told him that it was unfair that he was locked and chained up in the circus...that he was no more than a prisoner, a slave. He wasn't treated well and he was forced to perform tricks for audiences all over the country.  He had terrible food, not enough water and mean trainers. She told him that they were all there today, fighting for Joe's rights. Expecting Joe to gratefully bow on one knee with happiness, the protester was stunned when Joe spoke again.
Joe asked her where she had gotten all this information. She told him that it was common knowledge that circus animals were treated inhumanely. She showed him a pamphlet with a horrible photo of a sad, old elephant with sores on his toes and rips in his ears. She told him not to worry though, that they were here to fight for him.
Calmly and clearly, Joe told the protester that, in this case, she was wrong. There may be other elephants in other circuses that are suffering, but not here, not him. He told her what every animal in this circus knew, that he loved his job and his life here.  He patiently explained how well he was treated, and what joy it gave him to see such happiness on the faces of circus visitors. He said that he was never chained, never whipped or mistreated, and he had apples and carrots any old time he wanted. As the protester's anger faded, as she listened to Joe and his side of the story, he added one more thing...the moral of this story.

"We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are."

Joe went on. "Just because you can't imagine being in a certain place or circumstance, doesn't mean it's not a fantastic situation for someone else. I had a great childhood until my mother died.  I was afraid but it turned out just as it should.  I was brought to the circus and I have loved it from the very beginning.  It's my home.  It's my livelihood.  It's my passion.  I can't imagine being anywhere else.  Not to mention, who's going to hire a middle-aged elephant with limited job skills? Your concern is admirable, but please stop being angry for me.    I'm very happy here! Come see the performance tonight and see for yourself!"
The protester listened to him carefully. She smiled. She offered her hand for him to shake and he offered his long bristly trunk. They shook 'hands' in understanding.  The protester spoke briefly to her group and they headed away from the circus tent.  Joe, knowing he had taught, and learned, a valuable lesson today, went back to his afternoon snack in peace.  The protesters never came back again and everyone lived happily ever after.
The Ripple?  Ah, yes, The Ripple.  All it takes for a ripple of misunderstanding to begin is one party trumpeting their message without checking out the facts first.  In other words, the protester and her posse proceeded with poor particulars, purporting to protect the pachyderms. In fact, their ignorance of what was really true in Joe's world started a ripple of anger and confusion that filtered down to a ripple of fear for Joe and his friends. On the other hand, what a beautiful ripple was created when The Elephant helped The Protester see his world, his way, through her eyes!  So much more lovely than the first.
Try to see what you see from the eyes of another.  The ripples you start, and stop, will amaze you.