19? Already?

Nineteen years ago this morning, I had my second child.  When her Dad and I woke early that morning to get to my planned c-section, we had no idea what the sex of our child would be.  However, we met in the kitchen at 4:30 a.m. both wearing pink shirts.  Should've known right then!
Natalie arrived doing what she does to this day; she amazed and amused us from minute one.  We were expecting this giant baby, since her brother was so big and since I was so big.  But no; itty-bitty, petite red-headed Natalie Kate arrived.  Her tiny bottom fit in her Dad's palm and there she sat for a bit while I underwent the necessary repairs. I had been a little worried that I wouldn't be as capable with a daughter as with a son; something which has to a good degree proven to be true; but I was immediately and thoroughly proud and pleased to have a daughter.
I fully admit that I was Cocky Mom. I thought, "I've got this, I've got a ton of experience." Not so much.  The Ripple of Natalie, perhaps the Ripple of All Ripples, had begun.
It's well-known that having children changes your life.  You have this amazing responsibility that you willingly take on when you decide to become a parent.  You think of all the things you will and should do for the good of this new life, from car seats and diapers to preschool and Brownies to make-up and dating to driving and voting. You're creating and molding a future citizen of The United States, for Pete's sake! And somewhere, lost in the busy-ness of raising your child, it's easy to forget that THEY will change YOU.
As pre-parents, we all say, "I would never do that!" or "I will never make my child do what my Mom made me do!" And we usually have some measure of success.  But ultimately, we are on our own.  Baby 'experts' can tell us what may happen in 8 out of 10 kids, but truly, we are making our own rules and doing what we can to get by.
As new parents, we start off slow, just trying to keep our heads above water til the feeding/diapering/sleeping stuff is all ironed out.  Then we encourage our children to grow up quick, and just like us. Here's where we all learn a big ol' lesson in "Not So Fast, Cocky Parent".
Natalie Kate, the Ripple, changed me in big ways.  What I thought was important was so not.  I considered it important that her clothes matched.  She considered choosing her wardrobe and getting dressed on her own much more important. She pushed me to the point of yelling so many times that I ripped something in my vocal cords!  You know how I'm not a 'yeller'? You can thank the Ripple of Natalie Kate. Natalie gave me new eyes in which to see the world.  Perhaps better said is that she opened my eyes to see things in new ways. Not everything needed to go my way, the 'parent's' way.  I learned how to try things that other people liked or suggested. I learned that I wasn't supposed to be nurturing a mini-Pam, but a fully individual Natalie Kate.
Natalie's gift to me, the ripple she began by showing up on planet Earth, was to see that it's ok to relinquish control sometimes. In parenting like my amazing Mom did, I thought I had all the answers.  But those were my Mom's answers, the ones that grew 7 children into fine adults. I had to find my own answers, and I'm still learning them from Natalie Kate. In some ways you could say that she began the Ripple.  I like myself pretty well, and she has been testing me and teaching me and improving me for 19 years now.  I love her dearly and hope to never stop learning.
I wish for my daughter the same things that I wrote in her baby book 19 years ago...peace, love, health, happiness, acceptance, success. I have nothing but pride, gratitude and love for my amazing, amusing, beautiful and brilliant Ginger Girl.
Happy Birthday, Ripple Starter! I can't wait to see what other ripples you send into the world. I love you!
Love, Mom